What is Purging and How Can it Be Avoided
First of all, lets start by discussing just what Purging is when talking about a fetish that involves feminization - yes it can be cross dressers, sissies, panty boys. Purging isn’t specific to one feminization group; it is just as painful to each. So what is it? Purging, by definition means to remove or get rid of and is usually associated with something that makes you feel guilty. In this case, it is a vicious cycle that can cost you not only money but the pain of loss when you get rid of or destroy this part of you.
They are Just Clothes…Right?
Men with a feminization fetish usually acquire over time, a fair amount of female clothing to dress up in and help them fulfill this fetish. We all know that clothing can be expensive, especially when you need everything! Purchasing panties and other lingerie, as well as skirts and blouses, dresses and maybe even a gown or two, as well as shoes to match each outfit, and sometimes purses as well can be very costly. When you add in wigs and make up, we are talking about a whole closet or trunk full of things and quite a bit of money. But that doesn’t matter because you are buying things you need, pieces you choose carefully and lovingly that make you feel like a woman or just help you to feel simply more like yourself. And we all need to feel comfortable in who we are, our things help us do that.
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But it is these very things that are purged when you are caught in the cycle of guilt. Something happens, normally something like a spouse expressing their desires or a near miss being caught dressed up, that leads to you feeling guilt or shame about your choices and desires. So you purge. In one moment, usually the purging happens quickly without a lot of time to consider your choices, you throw our everything. Not hide, but destroy. You put it in trash bags and drive it to the dump or incinerate it. Something irreversible that doesn’t allow you to change your mind later. No matter what the cost it’s all gone and the only way to get it back is to start all over new.
Losing More than Outfits
The cost to you in purging isn’t just monetary though. You are purging your emotions and needs and then along with the guilt (which purging only soothes momentarily) you are also experiencing loss and sadness. It feels, many have described it to me, like a death. That’s because this is a part of you and while we all understand the need to keep some things to yourself and would never suggest you hang your dresses up in your closet with your suits (unless you want to- then by all means, go for it!), but purging isn’t the answer.
You spent time seeking out each and every piece, more time than most women spend choosing an outfit. You’ve tried them on, discovered your perfect fit and the best colors for your skin tone. Every moment was a piece of you, you looking in the mirror and feeling good! When you purge you take away all those moments from yourself and you are left with nothing but a memory. This is why it feels like such a loss…It is! These aren’t just clothes and shoes, these are pieces of your life. Things that are important enough to you that you have taken care of them and hidden them and chosen the perfect moments to wear them when you have time to appreciate the feel of the silk panties and the way the skirt whispers against your legs.
Stop the Cycle
There is no reason you have to lose these things. It’s a cycle so many cross dressers and sissies fall into and it’s something that can be avoided. Even if you are in the cycle now there are ways to stop. After all this isn’t how you want to live. Always feeling lost and like you have to replenish something you destroyed. I suggest giving yourself an out, this is a built in go to plan that you can use when you feel you need to purge. Prepare for it ahead of time, if you know it’s going to happen or that it might, have unused boxes or Tupperware bin available to you. This isn’t about destroying and it’s not about telling you that you have no right to feel those purging needs. This is about helping you do something more productive and less painful to you in the long run.
I suggest renting a small storage unit, somewhere you can access 24 hours a day and that isn’t far from where you live. When you get the urge to purge, pack everything away, even if you want to shove it in garbage bags instead of the bins or boxes and take it to the unit and lock it up. This takes it away from you and away from everyone and everything else, removes it from your sight and immediate vicinity, without destroying it. Just try it. There is no reason for destruction if you have a plan in place you can implement immediately. So get everything set up just in case and then if and when it happens, you’re covered.